The mother of an All-Star Ann Pierzina-Killian

by BBaholic on September 10, 2006

Saturday, September 09, 2006 – 3:02 pm

“What it’s really like to be the Mother of an All Star”… by Ann Pierzina-Killian

Truly, I can only speak for myself. But I can only imagine what the other parents went through also. Many of the same things. I will start by addressing CBS; I believe we should have had the contact numbers or emails of the other parents from the get go, or at least a private chat room for venting and support. Here goes…

As an All-Star Mom, we’re pro’s at this now right? This is our 2nd time around. Yikes!! For four of us, it’s pretty fresh.
Let’s go back to round one. When I was first told by my kid, that she was going to be on a reality show, I asked; “What’s that?” All she said was; “Oh Mom, just watch it on July 6. You’ll see me there!” When she entered the BB house last season, it was my very first episode of Big Brother. Let’s set the record straight. This is not a reality show. This is an “UN-reality show!”
And Oh Boy, Did I ever see her there! And in 15 million other places on the internet.
For the first 2 weeks I was totally stressed out! It dawned on me that 2 million people were watching every move my kid makes, and picking her apart like a rag doll.
I was shocked into “reality” when I browsed all the BB sites!
I wasn’t warned about this!

I did not want to see my child slandered, made fun of, or hurt in any way.
Being a spiritually deep woman, I gave her to God. It dawned on me real quick, she would need His love & protection in this crazy & hostile environment. I also started asking others to lift her in prayer. I started seeing a change. It was a good change.

When it was announced once again, she would be going back on the show, it was like “Oh boy, here we go again..” Get ready for the emotional roller coaster.

Watching the feeds:
(And I‘d be surprised if there was a parent who did NOT subscribe for the live feeds.)
Lou Gordon hit the nail on the head last year when he said; “It was like getting my kid back for the summer!” He was right. For me it went a bit further…it was like really getting to know my kid as an adult for the first time. You raise these children to the best of your abilities; they go off into the big bad world. You really have no idea how they truly turned out. All you can do is hope for the best.

The feeds were a bit addicting( to say the least.) It was very comforting to watch your child sleep. It was funny to see many of the same habits & characteristics they had as children surface in the house. It is very endearing to hear them talk about you, and realize you mean more to them, then you could ever of hoped for or imagine.
“Seeds planted, and tended with care, build strong roots and bear beautiful fruit.”

It is agonizing to see them hurt. There is nothing you can do. When your child is hurt, scared or sad, you cannot reach into that screen and surround them. You just have to sit there and feel it too.

When your child cries. You cry.
When they are lied to and betrayed…you feel betrayed. You get angry. When they are scum-bagged, you do not like that scum bagger. When they are played, you do not like that player. When they are lied to, you do not like that liar.
How many times do we have to keep telling ourselves; “It’s just a game!” “It’s just a game!” “It’s really, just a game!”

It is with great pride, when you see the person they’ve become. When they are real. When they are genuine. Polite. Generous. When they are true to themselves and their alliances. When they win competitions, or help their alliances win. It brings joy to see such a competitive, winning spirit.

It is with fear & apprehension, when they might do, or say something that you do not want the rest of the world to see or hear. Including everyone in your hometown, your whole family , your co-workers and just about everyone you know. When they get too sippy, (BB, you really need to watch the alcohol allotments) you want to reach right in there and say ok! You’re cut off kid. Remember now… you’re on National TV!
What about their hormones?? And yes, this age has more then they know what to do with! OMG! This is waaaay more then a mother ever needed to know about. Please maintain your dignity in there, oh child of mine! Wheeeew!

It can be a bit annoying, to have to talk BB with everyone you run into, and feel you have to explain to them what is going on. Like… go to BigBrother .com and figure it out! Puuuhleeze!

The Big Brother House lurks in your conscience and your sub conscience the whole time they are locked within those walls. How many times have you awoken in the middle of the night and said; “I wonder if they are all right? Or wondered what they are doing?”
It has a trickle down effect in all other aspects of your life. The longer they are in there, the more power that house has over you. And I am speaking from two FULL SEASONS right down to the last 3 days. (BOTH TIMES dang it!)

When they leave that house, it is with great relief. Uh huh. It is. . . Your protective mode can finally come down. What an exhausting state to be in for 3 months.

It is with great surprise, and pride and joy to see the support from the million trillion fans. This show is bigger then I could ever imagine it to be. WOW!
The fans have picked me up and carried me when I’ve been hurt or down more then once.
The fans have celebrated with me and loved on me. Thanks be to them!

It is with fascination, as I watch the bond that these houseguests have made for life. That for the most part… it was just a game in the BB house. Outside of it, they have built many friendships for life. I find myself forgiving the other houseguests for the awful things they have said and done to my child. Especially when they are looking you in the eye and are remorseful. They don’t have to ask for my forgiveness.

Again I’ll say… I needed and longed for the other Mommie-Mommies of the BB All Stars during this time. More then once…

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