Dick Rules; Takes Giant Leap In BB8 Rankings

Are you kidding me? Really? Really? Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction, and with that said, evel Dick is now the new HoH.

With that sentence, you know who was evicted. It wasn’t close. By a 9-1 vote, gonorrhea Joe was sent packing, and the one twist to the voting was that Mike — who had initially aligned strongly with Kail with regard to Dick — voted to evict Joe. He did it quickly, as if he had a last-second change of heart.

In the back of my mind, considering how open and honest Dick has been about gunning for Jen and then for Kail, I sorta hoped Dick would have a shot at the HoH. However, I thought to myself, “Self, there’s no way it could work out that perfectly.”

What E.D., as the kids are calling him these days, brings to the Big Brother 8 table is a truly self-centered, I-could-not-possibly-care-less attitude. No, he cares about winning, but he could care less about you or your feelings or your virgin ears or your sensitive eyes. He is the perfect antitode to houseguest apathy, and while he might not win, I’m telling you — be glad he’s there because he’s interesting.

Dick won a competition whose final, tiebreaker question centered on math. Last week, Jen won HoH on what most of us would agree was a trick question. This week, Dick’s winning question, “How many hours has Jen had the unitard on?” was much simpler.

He felt vindicated, and I strangely felt good for him. What always sucks about eviction day though is that somebody else has to leave. Not that we grow to care about these people too much, but you have to imagine what it mentally feels like to be rejected by your peers. For whatever reason, I imagine it would hurt.

Joe soon learned that Eric was America’s Player, and oddly enough Dustin’s video comments to him weren’t as bad as I thought they might be. He told Joe to make it a point to take care of himself, with emphasis on the care part.

Back in the house, Kail walked around like a zombie. With curls in her hair as if she were dressed for a night of dinner in the town she owns, Kail has to know that she’s getting nominated this week. In fact, if Dick nominates somebody besides Kail and Jen, I’ll be surprised.

What’s good for Daniele is that you have to think she’s safe as well. As much as I would work to preserve myself in the Big Brother house, I would be very protective of my daughter. It’s just instinct, and frankly, I think it puts him in a good light with the other players. They might get annoyed by his cussing, belching and farting, but his honesty is so far unquestioned.

With 12 players still left in the house, here are my weekly rankings based on game-play, momentum in the house and position right now. In parentheses is their rank from last week:

12. Kail (1).
Last week, she was No. 1, having played the HoH perfectly. However, she panicked in the biggest way, overcampaigning against Dick and alienating her crumbling Mrs. Robinson alliance. As quickly as she ascended has she fallen.

11. Jen (13).
As HoH, Jen failed to build consensus on her picks. On one hand, her aloofness might serve her well down the road, but unless she becomes a PoV machine, she’s in trouble. I’m not convinced the wisdom from her Chilltown buddies has paid off.

10. Zach (5).
The prevailing opinion on Zach right now is that he’s overplaying the game and failing to build personal relationships.

9. Jameka (10).
This week, we saw Jameka’s spunky side as she got into a quick, terse argument with Zach over a verbal misunderstanding. However, she has played this game with some integrity, not promising to side with Kail even when it was quite easy to do so.

8. Jessica (9).
Jessica’s “frenemy” is out of the house, so she played it close to the vest this week. She’ll skate for at least another week, but she hasn’t done much to make an impression.

7. Mike (6).
Given that the final tally was 9-1, Mike’s biggest mistake might have been revealing by deduction that he alienated his closest ally, Kail. Mike’s game play is either brilliant or weak. He’s been quiet and under the radar without an ounce of annoyance.

6. Eric (4).
Honestly, he’s our player, but I strongly suspect the instructions we’ve given him make him seem weird and borderline nuts in the eyes of the other houseguests.

5. Nick (3).
The formalization of his feelings toward Daniele has not only made him appear vulnerable in the eyes of his houseguests, unless it’s reciprocated soon by Dick’s daughter, the former football stud might find himself on the hot seat.

4. Amber (7).
Last week, I said it was a giant mistake strategically to keep Amber in the house. She’s a good player because she builds positive relationships with an emotional (often too emotional) foundation. I suspect she’s building friends for life, and they will carry her for weeks.

3. Dustin (8).
What a perfect week to be this guy! His boyfriend got the boot, and he’s positioned himself among his houseguests to be very, very likeable. Given that he has aligned himself with the other really likeable houseguest, Dustin’s potential is building.

2. Dick (12).
Don’t know if it was totally intentional, but evel Dick played like a champ this week. His game-play will be volatile, and his stint as HoH will be important. Even though many of the houseguests are turned off by this guy, he’s built a good relationship with Amber and Dustin, and the only person it benefits more than Dick is …

1. Daniele (2).
Not only does Daniele have Dick backing her up — even if she won’t reciprocate the “I love yous” just yet — but, Dick has developed a solid relationship with Amber, ergo Dustin. On top of all this, Daniele has won PoV two weeks in a row proving to be this season’s only competitive stud so far.

There will be more over the next couple of days for sure. As soon as you’re done reading all the fine writers on big-brother-blog.com, feel free to check me out at ryanwelton.com for a regular look at TV, music and life.